I am not a Christian ... But

Caution - extreme danger of whiny rant ahead

I am not a Christian although I grew up in that faith and hold a degree in Biblical Studies. My belief system has evolved based on my experience and research into something other than traditional Chrisitianity. I usually describe my beliefs as Ecclectic Paganism because it is the closest "name" to what I believe.

I am not a Christian but sometimes I miss the trappings of that belief system. I miss worship services. I miss having a definitive document of my faith. I miss that feeling of having all the answers and not having to figure them out for yourself. I miss the history and feeling like part of it. Mostly I miss being able to find people who believe exactly what I believe.

Paganism is a little more variable than Chrisitianity. Even my husband and I practice different aspects of Paganism. He is Wiccan and I am Ecclectic.

Mostly this post is just my way of whining that I miss the comfort of the religion of my childhood. There are some days where that lazy bum in the back of my mind just wants to follow someone else's direction. But the rest of my mind says I can't. I'm the teenager who almost got her family thrown out of their church for telling the pastor that his sermon was borderline heresy and then proving it. I couldn't even blindly follow when I was trying to be a Christian so I guess "the good old days" are just an illusion and I should stop ranting at unsuspecting blog readers.

So, What's with the blog?

Why am I doing this? Simple ... accountability. Lately I've found several areas in my life that I'm not entirely happy with and instead of living with it or whining about it, I'm Doing Something About It. My hope is that this blog will be a place for me to vent my frustrations and celebrate my victories throughout this process. Whether anyone reads this blog or not, it still supplies me with a written account of what I have accomplished (or not accomplished) throughout this process.

So, now that we have the boring mission statement out of the way, what exactly am I trying to improve?

1 - General Fitness - yes, my weight is a problem but so is my lack of cardiovascular endurance. I used to work in an appliance warehouse and now I feel like a wimp. I would like to get my weight back to 160 (it's 236 now) and be able to jog a mile.

2 - Make My House a Home - We have a house that needs a lot of work and I want to participate in the refurbishment of my house and apply my thrifty skills to helping us accomplish our goals with minimal output of cash ('cuz we don't have a lot).

3 - Feelings of Aimlessness - I've been dealing with feelings of aimlessness for a while now. We've had to move three times in the last three years and I wasn't able to get a job due to locations and the short amounts of time we would be at the various locations. I'm going to work toward getting my teaching certificate to establish a career that can travel with me to the various places our family gets stationed.

4 - Living in Harmony With My Surroundings - I would like to reach the point where we are consuming less and contributing more. I would like to establish a garden next spring and plant fruit trees that can help feel my family down the road.

And I'm pretty sure some of the other random stuff that happens in my life will find its way into the blog as well.