Monday, October 12, 2009

I am not a Christian ... But

Caution - extreme danger of whiny rant ahead

I am not a Christian although I grew up in that faith and hold a degree in Biblical Studies. My belief system has evolved based on my experience and research into something other than traditional Chrisitianity. I usually describe my beliefs as Ecclectic Paganism because it is the closest "name" to what I believe.

I am not a Christian but sometimes I miss the trappings of that belief system. I miss worship services. I miss having a definitive document of my faith. I miss that feeling of having all the answers and not having to figure them out for yourself. I miss the history and feeling like part of it. Mostly I miss being able to find people who believe exactly what I believe.

Paganism is a little more variable than Chrisitianity. Even my husband and I practice different aspects of Paganism. He is Wiccan and I am Ecclectic.

Mostly this post is just my way of whining that I miss the comfort of the religion of my childhood. There are some days where that lazy bum in the back of my mind just wants to follow someone else's direction. But the rest of my mind says I can't. I'm the teenager who almost got her family thrown out of their church for telling the pastor that his sermon was borderline heresy and then proving it. I couldn't even blindly follow when I was trying to be a Christian so I guess "the good old days" are just an illusion and I should stop ranting at unsuspecting blog readers.

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